It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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