Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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