worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
