Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
