P.S. I can't hear my feet
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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