Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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