I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
