there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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