we're blogging at a bar
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
