I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
