I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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