Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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