I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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