I cockslap morals
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize