i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize