3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
