sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
