suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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