Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
