Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
