How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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