I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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