he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
