It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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