Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
