Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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