he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
