i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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