I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
dude. I can hear the air.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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