oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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