what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
