1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
