Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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