hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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