You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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