Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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