Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
