Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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