youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
