Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
