i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
