she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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