Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
