I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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