I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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