did you get engaged???
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
