3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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