plz talk dirty to me
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
