she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
