You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
