Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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