Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
