Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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