She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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