Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize