i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
