If that was your dad, he is hot
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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