People with herpes should wear stickers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
