I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
