the condom got lost in my hair
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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