haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
