apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
only if we run a train.
done.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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