I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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