Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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